Wondering

I've been really frustrated with work lately. I feel like I have so much on my plate. I've been frustrated with a lot of things. Even yesterday, I gave Raquel the power to determine my worth. If she wasn't paying attention to me, I was worthless. I don't know how I can do that to myself, and it makes so much sense all in the same.

I'm hoping I find some positivity in the day, because this negativity is going to make the day go very, very slowly.

I'm so excited to go home today. I don't even know why. I think I'm getting to the point where I feel deflated at work. Nothing feels motivating. It's just a never-ending race to process anything and everything. Some days, I don't mind it. Others, it makes me feel lost and like a waste. I know I can do more, but being here to finance my education is a no-brainer. I guess I should be grateful that I have this option.

A couple years ago when I was trying to leave my job and go back to school, this was an ideal solution and actually the main goal, aside from the low pay. And now that I'm here, I just want more, more, more. I suppose that is just the human in me.

I wonder if my mom ever felt like this when she was working. I wonder if she ever felt like she needed alone time. She did a great job at making everyone feel like she could carry everything on her shoulders. It's pretty amazing to think about, but also sad as well. There should be a website about mom's with lives, so we can stop the thought process of thinking moms are only moms.