The Mold

Today has been extremely busy. I've been the only one at work. I'm excited that we are almost at the weekend, but I don't want to wish it away. I get so excited for the weekend. Not to be cliche, but I almost live for it.

Christmas is coming so quickly this year. I hate that the season starts even before Thanksgiving is over, but I feel like we should push Christmas to the end of January, so we can take a minute to enjoy the holidays.

Today I'm feeling thankful for what I have. I did really well in my two classes for the semester. I had a required meeting with my instructor yesterday, and he said he wouldn't question my academic ability for a second. He told me I should be proud of my final grade in the course. When I said thanks, he told me it sounded rehearsed. He also mentioned that I need to take risks, be confident, and not be so cautious. How it is that others have more faith in us than ourselves? I wonder how that happens. I wonder if it is more likely to happen in females than males because of how society grooms us?

Regardless, I think he is right. I need to own things when I know I'm right or feel strongly about it. I am always pushing myself to be indifferent for fear of being known as opinionated, or worse, being wrong in my convictions. I suppose that can't hurt, and my pride should not be what stands in the way.

He also mentioned I might benefit from therapy. Dealing with traumas of the past. Trying not to let those happenings define who I am today. I may not fit the mold I think.